Twisted

       Living abroad is not a bed of roses specially when building a nest. Maybe I have choosen or is it a destiny to live and start a family here not knowing what are the circumstances. Stupidity  or the push of eager desire carried me in this  Land of Kimchi. I do accept that in the first place I want to embrace the place, learn the culture and live happily. Years  past,  mingling in the community is very difficult. Trying to fight back my negative point of views and instill the good side, I can't deny how I am sometimes misinterpreted belonging to other races (need not mention). I wish they just see me as I am  a 100 percent Filipina. If I dress and do hairdo's like the place I live, they say ah! you look like a Korean; if I go to sauna's they say ah she is a vietnamese;  I wear make-ups and hear murmur ah!의국 사람..foreigner! However, this helped me find work.

       I work as freelance because I still don't want to give up caring my kids. Every short moment I spent with them is very important. It is very hard being a mother here in Korea especially if you're a foreigner. Language is the common problem aside from in-laws. I thought in the first place they use English as means of communication in school, only to know during my first year experience teaching that it is just a subject. Let me share what happen at that time in a big kindergarteen somewhere in Changwon.  My employer asked me to teach the stuff. After one month, the principal said I am very good in teaching but it is very boring. Wow!, that was an impressive-insult. They just want me out. I think they prefered whites. So,  I quit the job and I hammered in my subconcious mind next time it would be different.

준기 & 채림(my son and daughter enjoyed playing together)

       It was November fall-winter the weather doesn't favor you either.. gloomy and cold. I went for another interview together with my daughter, she looks stressed and very small at that time. Still, I am very  positive to find work. My agency didn't help. At the end,  I have to send my daughter to pre-school so that I can concentrate in my work. I enjoyed teaching the kindergarten kids and developed  skills, and methods of how to teach korean students.  Alas, I was appreciated by my employer. 

       After all those years, I steal from my leisure time I attending seminars, learn korean language and socialize.  I become more congtrolled, prepared and opened to any challenges. My kids are growing and knowing of who they are with  a foreign mom. I have to show them that I am not that  vulnerable. Although sometimes, I wish I am in the Philippines. There, it would be easy for me  to teach them Filipino values that I want to them acquire. As they grow, I know  they have certain characteristics superior than us as their parents.